maanantai 1. tammikuuta 2018

Challenges I didn't achieve and other stuff

2017 ended and I didn't achieve a couple of challenges. I didn't take care of a pet. It is very unfortunate but no one's pet needed my attention and care. I thought of donating money to endangered animals instead, but when I tried to execute the payment, online banking kept telling me the bank account was incorrect. I am pretty sure it wasn't because I copy pasted it from the website. Lately I have spend too much time trying to figure out rejected payments and unbalanced accounts because of my job, so on my free time I can't be bothered. Sorry, endangered animals. I was simply too fed up.

But I have my undemanding little cactus which I have managed to keep alive ans well since I moved here. A cactus is pretty much the only thing I can ever imagine taking care of, it even needs water only once a week or so. I wouldn't like to have a pet. I am unable and unwilling, and not interested in taking care of anything except myself and even that tires me enormously. In addition pets don't really fit a lifestyle that includes moving at least once a year.
It is still alive 
Another challenge I didn't achieve was to spend the new year with someone. Well, theoretically speaking I spent it with my roommates as we were gathered under the same roof earlier but that wasn't the idea of the challenge, I think. New year is too much of a party holiday for me, I am not interested in being surrounded by drunk people. I don't want to. Let's see again when Chinese new year comes.
At least I wish it was summer and warm 
I was thinking yesterday that 2017 was not a good year. Actually it was the crappiest year of my personal history. I was sick for half of it and all in all I feel like it was a year of sadness and disappointments. I don't even remember when was the last time I was completely relaxed, enjoyed life and had real fun. 2017 should have been an amazing year, I was in Australia, spent the summer in Finland and moved to Prague, everything went as I planned it but still I am not happy. I feel I still lost more than I got back when I left Australia. May be I have never been positive or optimistic but before I have still been relatively full of hope. After last year I don't feel hopeful anymore, I don't think future is going to be any brighter or happier. If I wasn't happy in Australia how can I be happy anywhere else?

My job is OK but that is all it is. I wish I could find something that is more than OK. No matter if I sit the whole night in the office (as I probably will next week), the world is still an unjust place where rich people get richer and poor people get poorer. I want to do something meaningful to me. Prague is also a nice city but maybe I would enjoy it more if I was here only for holidays. I don't feel at ease living here. Maybe 2018 will bring a lot of changes for a bit happier and a bit better. It would be nice to feel that life is fun and interesting again. Or if I am not getting that much at least I hope to feel a bit more comfort and less wretched.

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