Have a nice fright

No, it's not a spelling mistake. This post is about flying and I'm scared of flying. If humans were meant to fly, we would have wings, right? We flew to Sydney yesterday and the flight was delayed. According to our pilot they'd had a strong headwind on the way to Cairns plus unexpected computer problems. People in the tropical north are so damn relaxed they just decided to switch off the computer and wait for better times sipping coffee on the nearby beach, that's why the delay, but Anna and I decided we would have been much happier not knowing about their computer problems. Hopefully nothing went horribly wrong during the time the computer wasn't on.

The announcement about computer problems made me think about other terribly insensitive announcements I've heard in a plane. OK, so pilots and flight attendants fly daily and it's not a big deal for them, they know their stuff and are not worried about the problems that occur on the way. Well, good for them but I'd still appreciate it if they'd consider the passengers and tried to make their announcement a bit less informative. Here are some announcements I'd have preferred to be more vague.

1. On the way to Sweden our pilot kindly informed us that we are going to be late because the mechanics are fixing an engine problem. Well I'm truly thankful it is being fixed but hell yeah, knowing it was too much information.
2. On the way from Japan to Finland, in the middle of strong turbulence the flight attendant started his announcement: "I'm sorry to inform you .." and my overactive imagination supplied "but we are soon going to crash in Siberia". Luckily that wasn't the case, he just wanted us to know they'd run out of chicken breasts for dinner. I'm quite sure there was a less alarming way to deliver the news.
3. On the way from France to Finland they informed us we'll be delayed as there was "bird activity" in the are and we'd have to wait for the birds to be gone. Everyone knows how dangerous birds are for air traffic. Once again, if you don't have anything nice to say, be quiet.
4 This latest flight to Sydney, we were asked to locate the safety instructions sheet and keep it available while approaching the airport as the plane was going to "turn quickly". I waited and waited for this quick turning thing whatever it is, but nothing happened. A day of disappointments!
5. Once again on the way to Sweden we were behind the schedule because "winter surprised us this morning". Hello, this is Finland in October. How can it be surprising the winter decided to arrive? PS did you get the snow out of the runway?

I'm sure I have  more of these moments of horror but luckily enough I've forgotten them, probably to protect my psyche. But there are other things that make you slowly lose your mind during a flight, for example people who don't understand to switch off their mobile devices during take off, because, well, it's important to check if their favorite football team won last night, and of course it must be checked right now. The question is, is the information worth getting us all killed? On the way to Osaka the plane was already taxiing on the runway when the flight attendant came to tell the girls in front of us they have to put their phones away, and what did the girls do? Nothing, because there were still some posts in Facebook they had to like before being disconnected for an entire HOUR. Unbelievable! And wen the plane started  landing in Osaka and it seemed to be landing in the ocean (because, sigh, Osaka airport is located on a small island) I thought about swimming back to Korea and home and staying there maybe forever.