That's illegal!

I've left the charming, chaotic Vietnam behind and the plane lands to a tropically warm Singaporean afternoon. I read the text on my landing card; death for drug traffickers under Singapore law. Welcome to Singapore! What a luck I had, leaving all that sweet marijuana home. I'm thirsty. First things first, I will buy a bottle of water and sip it during my one and a half hours trip to my friend's house. I buy the bottle and go to the station, ready to board the mrt. And what do I see if not good news. Drinking and eating in the train is forbidden, fine 500 Singapore dollars. Smoking is naturally forbidden, too, fine 1000 dollars. In addition passengers are not allowed to bring durians in to the train. Durian is a sweetly smelling fruit and the smell divides opinions. Some people just cannot stand it, so better ban the whole thing so everyone can be happy.

No, no and no once again

Feeling strangely disappointed I board the train and spend the next 90 minutes dreaming of my cold water that's getting warmer and warmer by the minute. I can understand that smoking and eating is forbidden, but not that drinking is forbidden. What do you guys want. to make the passengers die of thirst?

Welcome!

My friend later tells me that a person living in an apartment block had thrown a cigarette butt overboard from his umpteenth floor balcony. A cleaner doing her daily duty had seen the incriminating cigarette butt slowly drifting down and reported the incident to a security guard. The criminal was found on security camera and got fined for both littering (that is illegal in Singapore) and smoking (which is forbidden in the balcony).

Your neighbor is watching you, so you'd better behave

My friend has two toddles who go to a play school for two hours daily. Every morning the teachers will perform a health check that includes checking the body temperature. If anything at all is wrong with the infant, they'll go back home. The next story I hear is about an elderly man who forgot his all-purpose flour in the train after otherwise successful grocery shopping. The train station was closed for some time while the case of the mysterious white powder was being investigated. "Singapore is very worried about terrorism, since the Muslim population generally speaking earns less than the other ethnic groups. I'm starting to realize this small state controls everything. Bags of flour. Durians. The body temperature of the brats.

And don't waste toilet paper! 

I'm scared I will commit a crime without even realizing I'm doing something illegal. My friend tells me not to worry, they'll not be that strict with foreigners, they'll first explain that this and that is not OK in Singapore, if you repeat the offense, well, that's a different case. I feel marginally better. I'll manage this trip without getting fined for something peculiar. Anyways, there are guidelines everywhere, I just need to follow them.

Information comes multilingual so you cannot say you didn't understand

Here you can check the kid's height so you'll know if they'll need a card to travel in the train

OK, that's your daily dose of travel sarcasm, in the next post I'll tell you what you CAN do in Singapore!