Everyone needs something to dream of,
something to plan. It doesn't need to be serious, doesn't need to be
100% achievable. Actually, I think dreams might be the only thing
that make it possible to achieve anything. For the one who doesn't
dream, most things are unattainable, but the moment they start to
dream of something, it becomes possible. Suddenly opportunity knocks
at every door.
When I was studying, I dreamed of an
exchange period abroad and got to go to South Korea. Then I dreamed
of an interesting internship and got to go back to South Korea. After
graduation I wanted to work abroad and I did just that. And all the
time while I was working, I dreamed of coming to Australia. Australia
was my motivation to get up in the morning, the reason to suffer
through the boring days in the office, through the difficult months
in Poland, the rainy autumn in Ireland. Dreams improve, if not the
world, at least the quality of one's own life.
I'm in Australia now and I was
devastated to notice I don't have any dreams left. I have achieved everything I ever wanted for myself, every dream that was at
least somewhat realistic to start with has come true. I mean, it would be terrific
to win the lottery without ever even buying the coupon but that's not
very realistic, right? I never planned the time after Australia, I
had some vague ideas of returning to Finland, finding a job,
traveling in Europe and then going to New Zealand and and.. and what?
Those simple thoughts do not a dream make. They do not have any
substance, they are not clear, there's no theme. They are not enough
to keep me motivated, focused and interested.
I wandered in Chinatown today, worried
sick of the lack of dreams, the sudden turn to worse life had taken.
Where do people get the dreams from? Where do the dreams come from?
Why does it seem that earlier dreams just appeared in my thoughts,
and stayed there? They were crystal clear, persistent. Or does it just feel like
that? I am deceiving myself, making myself believe dreams are
something easy to find? Was the dream of Australia originally an unclear, feeble
thought I returned to every time I needed to mentally escape from the
boredom and cruelty called the reality (which was shockingly often)?
Should I just decide to grow a new
dream, like one grows a tree? If I just decide that I want to, for
example, travel through the US, then return to this thought 10 times
a day, will I be convinced that is all I ever wanted to do? Will the
dream finally have staying power, will it replace the dream of Australia? Maybe the mind is a bit gullible, maybe
you can fool it to believe this dream is true, a valid first class
dream in its own right? Maybe I should start watching inspiring
travel documents to get new ideas. Tell me, where to find dreams? Can you buy them at the Christmas fair or something?
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